No Blake No
by sombreromoustache
Summary: In a match of Remnant, can Sun protect his cereal? Probably not.


Ruby and Sun snuck through the empty halls of Beacon's dormitories, "So where's this Remnant Club supposed to be?" he asked.

Ruby knocked on a door, "Right here, Sun!" the door opened slightly to Ruby.

"What's the password?" thought the feminine voice whispered, Sun easily knew it was Nora.

"Pancakes," Ruby answered, and the door to the Remnant Club, "Sun, welcome. Enjoy," she bowed to him.

Sun entered the dorm and saw five people in the room, Yang, Nora, Jaune, Russel, and Blake, "Some fucking stiff competition here," Sun joked, "So we're playing this Remnant game?"

"Yep! Ready to get your butt kicked?" Yang brought her fists together, "What about you, Russel?"

Russel sat at the small table where the Remnant game was set up, "I honestly have no personality depicted in the show, so I'm just going to stay quiet until the writers start giving me dialogue."

"HAH! Same," Nora laughed.

"And while we're playing the game, I gave everyone cereal as a little snack," Jaune handed the three players bowls of cereal.

"Alright let's play the game!" Sun exclaimed before popping his knuckles to set the game into motion.

As the game went on, Russel was the first to suffer defeat under the hands of the tyrannical Yang Xiao Long.

"WHOA! TOO SOON! RUSSEL IS GETTING HIS ASS KICKED!" Sun yelled excitedly.

"If I had a personality, I would respond with words or actions that corresponded with it, but since I don't," Russel glared at Miles Luna, "I am going to remain stoically silent, and leave," Russel fucked off.

Several turns later, Sun began the offensive towards Jaune, "Aw I'm coming in fast now, Jauney Boy, you are getting your ass kicked!"

But a turn later, Jaune had returned to the offensive, "AWWW TOO SOON! I went too soon and my armies broke! Good job, Jaune!"

Amidst the emotional game the three played, Blake stood on the table and glanced at Sun's cereal.

"What the fuck, is Blake doing on our table?" Sun asked the obvious question.

Blake ignored him and kneeled down to look at Sun's cereal, with her Bella-Booty for Yang to behold.

"Could you please not, we are trying to conquer Remnant here!" Sun yelled at the fellow Faunus, "Yang can you get her off the table?!"

Yang was in too deep looking at the booty, forgetting she wasn't Space Dandy, "What? Oh right, BLAKE! GET OFF THE TABLE!"

Blake sighed and walked back to the wall. Sun smiled and looked at Jaune eating cereal with two spoons.

"Why do you need two spoons? Why can't you use one spoon?" as Sun was distracted, Blake swooped in to try and eat Sun's cereal, "NO! FUCK OFF, BLAKE! Yang, your partner's a son of a bitch!"

Sun pushed Blake away from his cereal yet again, "Blake you are getting spanked! Right after this!" Yang winked at her partner.

As Ozpin was filing some paperwork, he heard what he thought he would never hear, "YO BLAKE GET THE FUCK OFF MY SHIT! YOU'RE NOT GETTING CATNIP FOR MONTHS MOTHERFUCKER! GET YOUR ASS BACK TO YOUR DORM! OR I WILL MOVE YOUR LITTER BOX TO THE FUCKING STREET!"

"Fucking feed your partner you dickhead!" Sun yelled at Yang, "Blake you're a fucking cat, there's a pitcher of milk right behind you!" Sun pointed to said pitcher

Blake went in to try and eat Sun's cereal once again, "WHOAAAAAAAAAA FUCK YOU WHITE FANG!"

Adam stopped cleaning his weapon, "For some reason, I want to punch a monkey."

Sun had become very snarky at this point, "Apparently, my partner is a fucking asshole was not approved by Beacon Academy, so that's why their team is called Team RWBY. GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY FOOD!" Sun screamed, "I am a man! I am the guest who was provided with this food!"

"Maybe if you weren't such a cock tease, Blake wouldn't be trying to eat your food," Jaune whispered.

At long last, Blake started eating Sun's cereal, to which he screamed, "NOOOOO! OHHHH NOOOOOO! Goddamn Blake germs!"

Sun watched Blake drink the milk from the bowl.

"You full yet? You're not even eating it! You're drinking the milk! THE MILK'S BEHIND YOU!" Sun stepped up and walked away, "Well this game sucked, thanks for inviting me, Ruby, I'll see you all tomorrow."

Sun walked out of the Remnant Club where he saw Ozpin, Adam Taurus, and King Neptune waiting for him.

"We've come to an agreement," Adam handed him a slip of paper that read, "Sun will Stop Fucking playing Remnant, or we'll fucking cut him."

Sun walked away. Because I don't know how to end this.


End file.
